Adventureland.
It's a movie, people.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Things I Like This Week - Oh... And American Idol too.
I like the following:
Edward Cullen. Yes, that's right. I have recently discovered the mass teen hysteria that is Twilight. And, sadly to say, I totally freakin get it. I mean, TOTALLY. This boy that plays the head vamp (he's really 22... I googled him to make sure that I wasn't being a perv) is super hot. He's supposed to be in high school (yeah, right... boys that look like that don't exist in any high school in America) and basically, it's a love story between these two teenagers... she finds out he's a vamp... blah blah... still wants to be with him... understandable. If I found out that Edward Cullen was NOT a vampire; rather just a kid who sidelines as a homicidal maniac... I might still have to go for it. I have seen like a hundred pictures of him in all of the mags. Ohmigod! Is he with Bella? Seen coming out of a hotel after hours! Whatever. But I don't know that I ever fully understood the craziness behind him (Robert Pattinson). Until now. I'm on board. And I'm thinking about getting an airbrushed t-shirt with his face on it - with mine photoshopped in over Bella's. Is that obsessive? Maybe. Bottom line - I don't care.
Wii Fit. I bought one. The only unfortunate thing about this system is the balance board... it also acts as a scale. And every time you get on, if you've gained weight from the last time you were on, she (the computer) gives this "ohhh" like "what happened to you?" Don't you judge me, woman!
Iron and Wine. Rob calls it hippie music, but they have a single "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" that kind of makes me want to cry a little. Love it! So... download it!
Vacation. Two and a half weeks away.
American Idol. Finally! I know, I know. Anyway, I watched it and it was nice. Everyone was good. Everyone sings very well. Was I wowed? Well, not exactly. But, here's how it breaks down... I would like to see Kris in the finals. I think he's got raw, natural talent and he would probably be the only one of the five that I would actually buy a record from. That being said, I get the most enjoyment out of the live performances of Adam. I think that Allison has a beautiful voice and that she's wicked talented... but I don't see her winning... although stranger things have happened (Taylor Hicks). I used to like Matt, but I'm kind of over it now... and Danny... well, I just don't care enough. He's a nice guy and I get the background story... but I'm not feeling him (although tonight was probably his best in a month).
I feel like everyone is really good... and it doesn't matter who wins. I feel like going downstairs and watching a few of my favorite Edward Cullen moments and drifting away into fantasy vampire world.
I have a sickness, people. And the cure: more Edward.
Goodnight... Love you bitches.
Edward Cullen. Yes, that's right. I have recently discovered the mass teen hysteria that is Twilight. And, sadly to say, I totally freakin get it. I mean, TOTALLY. This boy that plays the head vamp (he's really 22... I googled him to make sure that I wasn't being a perv) is super hot. He's supposed to be in high school (yeah, right... boys that look like that don't exist in any high school in America) and basically, it's a love story between these two teenagers... she finds out he's a vamp... blah blah... still wants to be with him... understandable. If I found out that Edward Cullen was NOT a vampire; rather just a kid who sidelines as a homicidal maniac... I might still have to go for it. I have seen like a hundred pictures of him in all of the mags. Ohmigod! Is he with Bella? Seen coming out of a hotel after hours! Whatever. But I don't know that I ever fully understood the craziness behind him (Robert Pattinson). Until now. I'm on board. And I'm thinking about getting an airbrushed t-shirt with his face on it - with mine photoshopped in over Bella's. Is that obsessive? Maybe. Bottom line - I don't care.
Wii Fit. I bought one. The only unfortunate thing about this system is the balance board... it also acts as a scale. And every time you get on, if you've gained weight from the last time you were on, she (the computer) gives this "ohhh" like "what happened to you?" Don't you judge me, woman!
Iron and Wine. Rob calls it hippie music, but they have a single "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" that kind of makes me want to cry a little. Love it! So... download it!
Vacation. Two and a half weeks away.
American Idol. Finally! I know, I know. Anyway, I watched it and it was nice. Everyone was good. Everyone sings very well. Was I wowed? Well, not exactly. But, here's how it breaks down... I would like to see Kris in the finals. I think he's got raw, natural talent and he would probably be the only one of the five that I would actually buy a record from. That being said, I get the most enjoyment out of the live performances of Adam. I think that Allison has a beautiful voice and that she's wicked talented... but I don't see her winning... although stranger things have happened (Taylor Hicks). I used to like Matt, but I'm kind of over it now... and Danny... well, I just don't care enough. He's a nice guy and I get the background story... but I'm not feeling him (although tonight was probably his best in a month).
I feel like everyone is really good... and it doesn't matter who wins. I feel like going downstairs and watching a few of my favorite Edward Cullen moments and drifting away into fantasy vampire world.
I have a sickness, people. And the cure: more Edward.
Goodnight... Love you bitches.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I'm Baaa-ackkkk...
Friends... I have missed you. But here's the deal. I have been tired. I have been busy. I have not been home for the Idol experience.... so, I wouldn't have given you my all and I just didn't feel that the product would have been worth it. So... whether tonight's product will be worth anything... that is still to be determined.
Here are the three singers that I feel are worth anything. Kris - he's so cute, I just want to put his Jason-Mraz-copycat-ass in my pocket and ride him around on my bike. Alison - go back and listen to Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt - she's a younger version of Gwen Stefani with better pipes (especially the actual track "Tragic Kingdom"). Adam - he reminds me of a younger, less disgusting version of Ronnie James Dio. I love metal vocals... old school "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhh whaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiii!" Damn. When that kid hits the last note of every song, cats and dogs everywhere run for cover. And I like that. Vince Neil was in the audience tonight and you know that dude was sweatin it down there in the cheap seats, watching some kid take his youth right from under him.
Who I think is lame. Anoop. I know... I know. Everyone loves his frat-boy ass, but I am not in the club. The judges are always praising him ("we got a hot one tonight, dawg!"), but I am not falling for it. He needs manscaping. Seriously.
Matt... and I used to be on board. But the judges wasted their save last week on him. I love the whole I-Could-Be-The-Next-Justin thing, but he's worn out his welcome for me - he's all riff and no content. But his leather Members Only jacket was kind of cute.
Lil. She and that weave need to find a new place to live. And is it me, or is Lil getting a little mouthier every week? It's like she realizes that she's not going to win so she's turning all David Alan Grier on the judges (see DWTS recap... kidding, there isn't one... but if there were, I would have talked about David Alan Grier totally going mental Carrie Ann Inaba).
Here's the deal on the David Alan Grier tip... I didn't even see that DWTS... I just heard about it from my dad. My DAD. He loves that show. I don't think he and my mom have ever missed any episode. And when he's recapping it for me, he gets all technical... "You know, that Denise Richards couldn't find rhythm if it came up and bit her on the skinny ass." And for those of you who know my dad, insert Chicago accent here.
So check it out... my dad retired last week! Yay for Bill! I wish that all of you could have heard the story that he told Rob and I about how it went down. Bill is a storyteller. My friend Michael said "I've never gotten so much enjoyment out of a story that involves people I've never even met before." Bill has a gift for the words. He says phrases like "he was shaking like a dog sh*tting peach pits" or "Well, I'll be dipped in sh*t and rolled in sand"... "She was as tan as rich Corinthian leather..." Ah, Bill. Anyway, now my mom gets to stay home and listen to my dad talk about work... without him being at work. Luckily, she's mostly deaf, so there's the silver lining.
Enough about me. But now about me. I go on vacation in a few weeks. Oh, yes. 25 days to be exact. I will be sunning my perfectly shaped (by Hostess) buns on a beach on Sanibel Island having a cabana boy named Juan spritz me with water every few minutes. I will be the one in the white Esther Williams suit and the huge Can-Barelys (can barely lift em!), scooting my kitten-heeled tootsies poolside. Picture it now... huge straw hat, nails that Lil Kim would find tasteless and all of the trashy Notebook knock-off books that I can handle. Oh, who am I kidding? Nicholas Sparks is high-brow compared to most of the literature that I read (OK!, Hello, Us Weekly, etc.). Hell, I would still read Teen Beat if they still made it. Wait, do they still make that? If they do, I'm sure it's a little more Zac Efron and a little less William Zabka (sweep the leg, Johnny).
See you next week, fools.
Here are the three singers that I feel are worth anything. Kris - he's so cute, I just want to put his Jason-Mraz-copycat-ass in my pocket and ride him around on my bike. Alison - go back and listen to Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt - she's a younger version of Gwen Stefani with better pipes (especially the actual track "Tragic Kingdom"). Adam - he reminds me of a younger, less disgusting version of Ronnie James Dio. I love metal vocals... old school "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhh whaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiii!" Damn. When that kid hits the last note of every song, cats and dogs everywhere run for cover. And I like that. Vince Neil was in the audience tonight and you know that dude was sweatin it down there in the cheap seats, watching some kid take his youth right from under him.
Who I think is lame. Anoop. I know... I know. Everyone loves his frat-boy ass, but I am not in the club. The judges are always praising him ("we got a hot one tonight, dawg!"), but I am not falling for it. He needs manscaping. Seriously.
Matt... and I used to be on board. But the judges wasted their save last week on him. I love the whole I-Could-Be-The-Next-Justin thing, but he's worn out his welcome for me - he's all riff and no content. But his leather Members Only jacket was kind of cute.
Lil. She and that weave need to find a new place to live. And is it me, or is Lil getting a little mouthier every week? It's like she realizes that she's not going to win so she's turning all David Alan Grier on the judges (see DWTS recap... kidding, there isn't one... but if there were, I would have talked about David Alan Grier totally going mental Carrie Ann Inaba).
Here's the deal on the David Alan Grier tip... I didn't even see that DWTS... I just heard about it from my dad. My DAD. He loves that show. I don't think he and my mom have ever missed any episode. And when he's recapping it for me, he gets all technical... "You know, that Denise Richards couldn't find rhythm if it came up and bit her on the skinny ass." And for those of you who know my dad, insert Chicago accent here.
So check it out... my dad retired last week! Yay for Bill! I wish that all of you could have heard the story that he told Rob and I about how it went down. Bill is a storyteller. My friend Michael said "I've never gotten so much enjoyment out of a story that involves people I've never even met before." Bill has a gift for the words. He says phrases like "he was shaking like a dog sh*tting peach pits" or "Well, I'll be dipped in sh*t and rolled in sand"... "She was as tan as rich Corinthian leather..." Ah, Bill. Anyway, now my mom gets to stay home and listen to my dad talk about work... without him being at work. Luckily, she's mostly deaf, so there's the silver lining.
Enough about me. But now about me. I go on vacation in a few weeks. Oh, yes. 25 days to be exact. I will be sunning my perfectly shaped (by Hostess) buns on a beach on Sanibel Island having a cabana boy named Juan spritz me with water every few minutes. I will be the one in the white Esther Williams suit and the huge Can-Barelys (can barely lift em!), scooting my kitten-heeled tootsies poolside. Picture it now... huge straw hat, nails that Lil Kim would find tasteless and all of the trashy Notebook knock-off books that I can handle. Oh, who am I kidding? Nicholas Sparks is high-brow compared to most of the literature that I read (OK!, Hello, Us Weekly, etc.). Hell, I would still read Teen Beat if they still made it. Wait, do they still make that? If they do, I'm sure it's a little more Zac Efron and a little less William Zabka (sweep the leg, Johnny).
See you next week, fools.
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