I turn 40 tomorrow.  This is difficult.  I figured that by the time I turned 30, I would have it mostly figured out. I mean, I always knew that there was this free spiritedness to me that would never truly have it nailed down, but at least most of it would be okay.
I remember at some point in my 30s, my dad gave me this envelope and told me not to open it.  Later, he told me that it is their entire life mapped out.  Basically, it's the plane crash thing.  "If your mother and I go down in a fiery crash, here's everything you need to know about our lives."  Bank accounts, deeds, people to call, etc.  See?  THAT is having it mapped out.
Rob and I have no will.  If we die in a fiery crash, NO ONE knows ANYTHING about us.  My parents have no spare key to my house, my sisters have no key, no one in Rob's entire family has a key.  Now, I think we gave one to our friend Brian back in 2006 or so, but I'm fairly certain that one has gone by the way side.  And, even if we kept a hide-a-key, that would basically be for us.  No one knows where it is and it's not like we can tell them if there is a fiery crash situation.
So, when I was 32, I got married.  I also became an aunt that year.  So, those seem like very adult like things to do, right?  We married and bought a condo (well, the house came first, but who is counting?).  But I've never really "felt" like I was getting older (except for the weird, physical things that happen to you).  No one ever tells you that your boobs drop like 3 inches in your 30s.
The part that is noticeable is that Rob and I like to do the same things that we did when we were in our 20s, basically.  And when you go to three-day music festivals and rock it with people half your age, you start to notice the "looks."  It's one of those "wow, I hope I still party like that when I'm fartin dust" things.  It's hard to get used to at first, but you just ignore it.
But the WORST part is thinking that someday you will just stop doing that stuff.  I mean, let's be honest.  I can't go to a Foxy Shazam show when I am 55.  And I know that Foxy won't be around when I'm 55, but there will be a new Foxy.  There's always something new.  And I don't know if I would want to go necessarily, but I feel like I would want the option.  The only shows we will be able to go to will be old farts like ourselves.  It's like when our parents go to a Moody Blues show or something.  You say "oh yeah, those old guys."
I'm afraid.  Afraid that I will become unhip and my nieces will start to make fun of me or that I will become that crazy old lady that tells the "kids" about what it was like "back in the day."
Although I've never really looked at myself as hip or cool, it would be tragic to be thought of as super uncool.  When I see shows on television where the characters are 21 and their parents are my age and they are eye rolling and gum popping and basically clawing at the walls to get away from them, I cringe.
I mean, is that me?  Like now?
This 40 thing doesn't seem to have hit Rob at all.  In fact, he's kind of Super-Rob now.  He does more in his 40s than he did in his 30s.
So, I guess the bottom line is that I have to turn into the Super-Me in the next few years.  Maybe write a pilot, shop it on HBO and then move to the big time.
The pilot will be called "The Super Me," only it will be a half hour of me on candid camera trying to pull on a pair of Spanx.  You're Welcome.