Monday, July 8, 2013

To Be A Boy.


Elaine sat across from me in Biology.  She had these long, tanned legs.  Skinny, but they went a million miles.  She wore these pink shoes.  Flat shoes like my sister had.

She had a jean skirt on today.  She scratched at the side of her thigh.  It made her skirt shift just a bit.  I squirmed in my seat. 

She had a pencil in her mouth.  She stared ahead at the teacher, but her eyes kept roaming to the side.  She took the pencil out and tapped the top of her spiral notebook.  She mouthed something to the girl sitting across from her.   I couldn’t tell what she was saying, but I stared at her lips.  I bet they tasted like cherries.  They were shiny and looked wet.

She had long curly, blonde hair and huge brown eyes.  In my thoughts, I pictured her kissing me.  In front of all of my friends.  Claiming that she was mine.

She would run her fingers through my hair.  Tell me she wanted me.

We would hold hands at the movies.  She would throw her head back in laughter at the funny parts.  I would drive her home.   She would slide over close to me in the car.  She would tease me.  Act like she was going to kiss me, but would pull the door handle and whisper, “See you tomorrow, Nicholas.”

She would eat dinner with my family; buy me the perfect gift at Christmas.  I would open it and say, “Thank you, baby.  It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

We would lay on the hood of my car, listening to music.  She had the best singing voice (I bet).  She would lean up and rest her head on my shoulder, trailing her fingers across my chest.

She would wear that green dress to our graduation.  The one that dipped low in the front.  We would throw our caps in the air together, smile for pictures that our parents snapped.                                                                                                                                                                     

She would love me.  I was desperate to make her love me.

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