AI - Nine is better than Ten.

Back after a short hiatus. No blog last week (enter sigh here). Well, I could talk about American Idol (and I will), but I've decided that I wanted to share a few of my favorite moments of last week.

1. I was in the restroom at work and found a Cheerio in the stall. Was someone eating in there?

2. I listened to an old record and realized that I love it even more now than I did then (My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult - Confessions of a Knife). Sing along... "Christian Zombie Vampires! I am the father... the father of nothing!"

3. The sales girl at Macy's called me by my first name (without my credit card in front of her).

4. I bought 3 pair of shoes. Two are completely "un-work-friendly," which I love. One pair is not even meant for walking in, I don't think.

Okay, so tonight was supposed to be a great night, right? Well, it was supposed to have a gazillion and one songs to choose from... after all, this was the top 100 most downloaded songs in an given week for the last 5 years or something, right? This should be chock-full-o-fun-and-awesomeness. So, what's up with the choices? I love Adam and of his crazy gayness, but "Play that Funky Music"? No! Dude, seriously? Out of like 5,000 songs, you picked that one?
Well, at least Scott McIntyre (nicknamed "The Piano Man") picked a Billy Joel song... I mean, originality is a plus.
By the way, that Megan Joy girl wants to smoke weed and listen to Phish. She does not want to be the next Adele. The sooner that the judges understand that, the more relaxed they'll be when she comes out every week with more and more plastic beads in her hair and less and less... footwear.
Remember when Danny was relevant? And when he sang in Hollywood and was the "one to watch"? So... my question is... Rascal Flatts?
Alison. No, no no no no no no no no. Okay. I love you. I do. And I love funky kids. I was one. But that dress was not cool. It may have been okay - with the following changes. Lose 2 inches from it. Ditch those leggings and go bare legged. Lose those big chunky white shoes. Instead, go for a black ballet flat. Take the gigantic clip out of your hair and rock it down shag style. Voila! Instead, you did not take my advice and ended up looking like a 16 year old that dressed herself before the big school mixer. She'll just end up sitting in the corner, waiting and waiting for Adam Larman to ask her to dance... but he never will because of that slut Melissa Schwartz. Moving on.

Well, I guess I could talk about Anoop and his desire to become a black guy... or about Lil and her desire to be an old white woman. But the jokes are too obvious and the pain is too deep.

So, I leave you now with this thought. Eating Cheerios in the bathroom is not cool.